No Pun Intended
by Dandykins
Summary: The mauraders don't know what to make of the new girl and her two siblings that enroll into Hogwarts fifth year. Not much fluff, but not any real drama until possibly later chapters. SBOC RLOC JPLE Please Review! Chapter Two is up!
1. A Bitter Prologue

This is my first stab at a fanfic. Before I start, I guess I should make a few things clear. If you have any comments about how my characters are Mary Sue, I don't want to hear it. They probably are. Oh well. I don't care. Also, I won't make up excuses if I take a long time to update, because this is just a side thing that has recently got me interested. I've got about six chaptersworth already finished, but considering that I'm a blatant perfectionist, the chapters will be edited constantly, even if they are already posted up. I love comments and criticism and suggestions, so feel free to bash me. If you want to discuss anything related to the topic of Mary Sues, please just don't bother, unless you really feel you need to point it out. Not that I'm afraid of the embarrassment, I just don't want to bother with it. 

On a happier note, I really hope you guys enjoy. This is probably semi-fluff, but not really. This is about my own OC battling wits with the Marauders, tied in with some romance and humor. I'm new, so don't hate me too much. ;

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any characters mentioned here that appear in J.K. Rowling's books. Any characters you do not recognize are my own.

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**_A Bitter Prologue_**

I'm sorry, I'm tired of anyone saying otherwise. And I seem to be the only one with enough sense to not beat around the bush. So to spare myself from any further strife, I'll just say it here. So at least _you'll_ have to agree with me. Before I say it, please keep in mind that I really don't mean any harm to them. They're sweet. And damn good friends. But there's no other way of saying it: Hufflepuffs are complete idiots.

There. Out in the open for you. Thank Merlin I didn't have to bother with _that_ kind of crap. I guess it is a bit harsh, but considering how many different ways I've heard it, I'm afraid I'm going to have to agree with Slytherin (God help me), though I can't be too harsh. The lines of Hufflepuff _have_ had their miracles: take Gregory Davis. That boy is one _fine_ piece of Hufflepuff, and I don't care who tries to say otherwise. Those who disagree are all surrealist morons anyways.

Why did this topic come up, of all the things to talk about?Sixth year, is what. Being a Gryffindor, and the team's Keeper, I had pretty easy my fifth (and first) year there. I had friends, I had horrible classes (but the few that were decent made up for the ones that didn't even come close), and above all: I could prove those stupid boys they _weren't _the hottest things around. Oh, come off it. You all know who I'm talking about. James bleeding Potter and his bloody group of sodding drones.

Yes, it sounds harsh, but if you've known as long as we've known each other, and to what state that acquaintance was, then you'd probably have to side with me. Ever since I stepped onto Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, I've been one of the infinite amount of victims of the quartet. Apparently, these blokes call themselves "The Marauders". Honestly, how cheesy could you get?

There should be a rule for things like that. No stupid titles for yourself. You're not special, no matter who you are. And no one really gives a bloody damn. Well, except for yourself, obviously. But no one really gives a bloody damn about you, either.

Okay, this probably has come out wrong. And I'm probably rambling. But if you had gone through what I've gone through (oh, how cliché is this? Hex me, please), then you'd understand.

Just so you know, my reputation isn't exactly clean, either. I've managed to hex a good amount of people during my years in Hogwarts, not including the hundreds of pranks I pulled back in Dwardiem. In fact, Professor McGonagall hasn't exactly been proud of me. But the only time I got really nasty wasfifth year with a particular Slytherin (who shall go nameless). And he definitely deserved it. As a matter of fact, he deserved worse. And even though I was almost expelled, it was completely and totally worth it. Everyone except for the House of Slytherin thought it was completely and totally worth it too. Yes, redundancy and all!

This probably doesn't make much sense. Okay, I _know_ it doesn't make sense. I guess I should start from the beginning. I should say, that wasn't exactly pleasant, but don't say I didn't warn you. And for those who have a hard time dealing with the utmost embarrassment, you should just turn around now. Seriously. Just drop this right now.

And if you happen to be a student at Hogwarts right now, I should hope you drop dead within the next few seconds, because you shouldn't be reading this anyway! This is for me and a select few people that will only be allowed to look several years from now. This is your first offense. Don't be too proud of yourself, it won't be as easy next time.

Oh yes, the diary. No. Not diary. I'm not _that_ lame. This is more of a… biography. Since it doesn't have many dates and all that "Dear Diary" crap. How about journal? Ugh, whatever. It's not going to help make me sound less cheesy.

So I guess I should start the beginning of fifth year. When I first started going to Hogwarts. That's really what started this whole ordeal…

September. A month everyone dreads. "Dread" wasn't the right word for me. It sounded more along the lines of "loathed" or "wanted to hex into the next oblivion" or something else of the sort. Why? I was to be dubbed the "new kid". How was that?

God, you're nosy. Let's go further back. Instead of fifth year, let's take it to my fifth year into life.

I'm an orphan. Big shocker there, huh? I've got it all down: sarcasm, cynicism, sadism, easily annoyed, perhaps a bit crafty, too. And I've got one helluva chip on my shoulder. My parents left me, and the orphanage really didn't want to tell me why. I'm guessing it was either drug abuse, alcohol, or they were just too damned ashamed to admit they were too poor to support me. Should've thought of that BEFORE you left the condom out of it, huh?

Yes, it's harsh. But what's even more harsh is the fact that they just left me. Didn't even have the balls to knock on the damned door. Nope, they just left me. Bare naked, no blanket, on the mat. The _least_ they could have done would be wrap a blanket around me. It was in the middle of winter! Oh, and get this. All they freaking left was a pathetic little locket. It wasn't even real gold. Just a gold-plated heart shaped locket with my name in it. Biggots.

Oh, my name? It's not at all special. Actually, I'm not very partial to it. Antares Jett. I looked Antares up in the library once. It's a star in the Scorpius constellation. It means "rival of Ares". What were those Greeks thinking, anyway? I refused the name the minute I could speak. Antares? Come on. And then I picked my favorite Greek Goddess for my new name: Circe. It was _much_ better than Antares. But at least I knew _something_ about my family: I'm pureblooded. How, may you ask? Myheadmaster in Dwardiem said something about constellations and pureblood names, and how they coincide with the alternate matters of the universe... blahblahblah... I don't know. Bottom line: I'm most likely a pureblood.

At the orphanage, I didn't have many friends. No one did. They knew it was pointless to try and be social, because everyone hated the place—how could we like each other, then? I did manage to be friends with a girl my age. Janet was a sweet girl, only a day younger than me. And we grew up to be quite the pranksters, not to mention the best friends we could ever ask for. We constantly found new ways of sneaking out and into the kitchen, and configuring ways to scare the living daylights out of _Madame_ Plotz (one time we set her bathrobe on fire; her expression will happily be implanted in my brain forever), our _lovely_ caretaker. I hope you noticed the sarcasm there. We were inseparable. Janet and I, that is.

Then I got adopted for the first time. Then I got dumped, and adopted again. And again. And again… Well, you can only see where this is going. I wasn't horrible. I was just… difficult. And that was only because they caused me to be difficult. Drunks, obsessive-compulsives, fakes, I've seen them all. Not to mention I've terrorized them all. With love, Circe. Hehe.

And then I found out I was a witch. I was in Scotland by then, and I had settled down with a rather charming family. I was content, and I didn't plan on moving at all. I was the youngest of three, the only one that was not biologically related. They made me feel at home and loved, and both of them really changed my view on things. Especially the average family. Not to mention boosting up my general view of human beings as a whole. Other than them, Janet was the only person I could dub as decently deserving to live. Harsh? Get over it.

We moved from our beloved Scotland when I finished up my fourth year to the less-charming Britain. Not exactly my kind of place. I guess I just missed the rolling green hills, the country, the meadows, the rain... All I found in London was dirty streets and perverted bums.

Needless to say, I was a little more than disappointed. But I forgave them. They had forgiven me, after all.

Okay, happy that you know my whole life story now, you nosy twat? Now I will be glad to announce, my story of my life in Hogwarts is about to begin.

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Please review!


	2. You're A Loony

Okay, something's wrong. I'm new, and I don't know how to make my story go up publicly! Thought I tried! So this is kind of a second test. ;.; I want reviewwwwws please! I'd love you all forever!

**Disclaimer:** Isadly do not own any characters mentioned in this fanfic other than the Gavin family and Circe (so far). They all are respectfully owned by J.K. Rowling. Oh, how I wish I owned Sirius... drool.

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**You're A Loony**

I looked around the train station. I had gone through _way_ too much trouble getting in there, what with this cock-and-bull "Platform 9 and ¾" crap. I was already wishing I could go back to Scotland. I looked over at Betelgeuse and Mira, my brother and sister. We got along just fine, and even if we get in fights every-so-often, I wished they were my biological siblings with all my heart. They were beautiful people: deep blue eyes and the same shiny, light brown hair, and light freckles always dusted their abnormally tan skin. Honestly, who ever heard of a tan Scottish family? Their skin could rival Swedish skin, and their beauty could too. I knew I wasn't the only one who thought that way, because already girls started goggling at Betelgeuse. Oh, wonderful. What a way to boost _that_ kid's ego. And that guy did _not_ need an ego boost.

They were twins. Bloody-freaking-twins. Identical. Well, obviously not identical, because one was missing a few rather critical parts of the body that made one gender male and the other female, but you get the picture. Not that they weren't well-built, no. Mira was model-worthy. She's hardly hit puberty (other than her insane height), but her charming smile and sweet personality made up for anything she lacked in that department. Plus, I've seen her mother. She'd grow into it very soon.

Mira was the smart one, Betelgeuse was the athletic one. He was a beater on the old school team. Every girl's heart throb. Not exaggerating, either. I did not know one person at our old school that did not crush on this guy. Not without reason, yes, but did they have to make it so obvious? I rolled my eyes as a few girls (they looked about my year), giggled furiously and started batting their eyelashes at him. He waved in a fashion that made me want to slap him, and I dragged him by the collar onto the train. We had already said goodbye to Gerald and Katherine, my adopted parents, so there was no need to linger. "Oi! Antares! Stop it!" he told me, but it was a lost cause. All three of us were already in a compartment, and neither Mira nor I really felt like being caught in another of his flirting moments.

"You are probably the most testosterone-laden boy I have ever laid eyes on, Juice," I called him the nickname he utmost detested, since he used my most loathed name.

"Why, thank you very much!" he flashed his toothy smile, and made a long sweeping bow. "But I must be off now, I would like to see what's in stock at this school," he winked at me, and I slapped my forehead, and looked over to Mira who was making a rather disgusted face. When he left, I pushed up my bags to the overhead before helping Mira.

"Does he always have to talk like that?" Mira whined, shuddering. "I don't like to think my brother is a womanizer."

"You might as well not think at all then, because he is," I grinned and she whapped me on the arm. The train started moving, and I yelped, falling over into the hallway. Did I mention I'm an insufferable klutz? Yes, thanks to my darling parents, I got those genes. Mira just laughed as I swore, getting up. "That's not what I call funny," I grumbled.

"Well, it seemed a bit funny to me."

I jumped at the sound of a new voice. I spun and saw a dashingly handsome boy with black, smooth hair that was long and not the least bit out of place, though it fell in front of his eyes. His eyes were a dazzling gray, and I felt my knees buckling. But his arrogant, "I'm-too-sexy-for-my-own-good" smile, thankfully, stopped me from falling on the floor again. He was laughing with Mira, and so was another boy, equally handsome, but with messy, short hair and bright hazel eyes. I swear, if egos could suffocate someone, everyone on the train would be dead, what with these two idiots and Juice aboard. I scowled at them and made my way back into the compartment. Unfortunately, that was exactly what the other two did as well. "Mind if we join you?" the one with messy hair asked.

"Yes!"

"Nope."

Obviously Mira and I needed to work on our communication skills. They listened to Mira, however, and sat down after putting up their bags. The one with messy hair poked his head out into the hallway. "Oi! Wormtail, Moony! We found one!" he leaned back inside and winked at me. I glared and looked out the window, sighing exasperatedly. I could already tell it was going to be a long ride.

"I'm Sirius Black, and this is James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew," I heard the one with longer hair say, but I didn't really pay attention to who he was pointing at, seeing how I was still looking out the window.

"Spare some hospitality, Circe!" Mira punched me in the arm playfully. This was one of the few times I wish I didn't know Mira. She was such a pushover. "I'm Mira Gavin, and this is Anta—OUCH!" she yelped when I shot purple sparks at her with my wand.

"Circe Gavin," I grumbled. She never really got why I couldn't stand my real name. The boys all raised their eyebrows at me. Obviously they didn't have very many argumentative girls at their school. Just wonderful. Bimbos galore! Juice must be in heaven. I heard the long-haired boy sigh dreamily.

"Like the passionate song of my soul," he sighed in response to my name, fluttering his eyelashes prettily, and Mira giggled.

"Sirius is it? Hardly in alignment with your personality," I told him, "Aren't you supposed to be the brightest star? You seem to be a bit dim to me."

"Touch-y," said the one with messy hair, putting a hand to his heart. I could only grin. It wasn't that I was anti-social. I just couldn't help being a bit cynical.

**Sirius POV**

I don't believe I've ever been so confused in my life. The two were sisters, judging by their last names, and the fact that they were both new. Mira had this beautiful, Spanish look to her with deep blue eyes and a slightly round, childish face but her cheekbones definitely showed she was older than that. Her figure wasn't that bad either, even though she was lacking something in the chest area. Shallow? Yes! Horribly so. Why thank you!

But this other one… Circe? She had an extremely exotic look, and you don't get much of that in England. She had ivory skin and was a bit petite and skinny, but unlike her sister, she lacked nothing in the chest area. Not spilling out of her shirt, unfortunately, but she definitely had something going on there. She had black hair. Long, silky, wavy black hair with bangs straight across her forehead. Could hair even get that way? And her eyes were this deep green that took on a strange tone of gray.

Yes, I could definitely get used to these new girls very quickly.

"Touch-y," I heard Prongs and I grinned. Yes, that said it all. She seemed a bit… cold. Definitely less friendly than her tan counterpart. But she did smile, it turned out. She had a beautiful smile. I could have sighed right then, but I didn't care enough for the girl to say much. They were both definitely in the A category. Right up there with Sandra Ferr and Abigail Jinks. I bet these new girls would be a good snog, too.

I was lucky enough to sit by Circe, who didn't seem to be taking much interest in any one in there, even her sister. When she noticed I was staring at her, at least she had the humanity to blush. I flashed my signature grin. Who could resist the Black charm? Ugh. Black. Change my name, please.

"Ever learned it was rude to stare?" she asked me, and it only made me grin more.

"Perhaps, but I don't mind. Do you?" I asked her, giving her my best smile.

"Considering that you look like some deranged pervert, yes, I do."

I gaped at her. She had one sharp tongue. Mira seemed a bit surprised at her behavior as well, seeing as her eyes were about to bulge out her head. "Antares! What a horrible thing to say!" Circe flinched at the name. What gives? Her name is Antares? Or Circe?

"Uh? Who's Antares?" Wormtail spoke up. I grinned even if the boy was like a shadow, he always asked the stupid questions for all of us to save us the embarrassment. Nice guy.

Mira looked to Peter. "It's her real name. Why she doesn't like it, I don't know. I happen to love—"

"It's my choice whether people can call me by what name, Mira. After five years, I'd think you know that," Circe (Antares?) muttered.

"Five years? But aren't you guys sisters?" Prongs poked Mira, who was rolling her eyes at her sister's lack of… uh… Friendliness.

"Gerald and Katherine took me up five years ago. I was an orphan before that," the girl shrugged. The whole compartment was silent as we stared at her for a moment. She had a funny way of saying things. Out there in the open. Like it was no big deal. Was it a big deal? I looked over to Prongs, then to Moony. He had been hiding in his book for the whole while, but looked up at the word "orphan". All of us just stared at Circe. Or was it Antares?

"Uh… Sorry," Prongs said finally, but the girl waved off his apology.

"Nothing to be sorry about. It's not like it's a sob story or anything," the girl grinned weakly. It was obvious she was uncomfortable.

"So which is it?" I asked, "Circe or Antares?"

"Circe preferably," she was talking to me now, in the utmost civilized manner. This girl had some weird mood swings.

"Tare-poo it is then," Prongs said in his most girlish voice possible, and we both leaned towards her, batting our eyes. Great minds think alike. Her annoyance is what we thrived on, apparently, because neither of us stopped until she rolled her eyes and went back to staring out the window. I turned my attention to Mira.

"You don't sound like you're from Britain. Where are you from?" I asked, and she grinned.

"I grew up in Scotland, but my mum's from Sweden and my dad is Irish," she told them, her smile never faltering. I could get to like this girl. Very fast.

"What about your parents?" Wormy asked Gavin, and I rolled my eyes. Even I wasn't _that_ stupid. I smacked him upside the head, and was rewarded with a smack back, "What was that for, Padfoot?"

"I don't know anything about my parents, nor would I want to. Could we change the subject please? I'm not keen on pouring out my life history in front of three idiots and a mute," Gavin was grinning. Whoa. Shouldn't she be… snapping at me or something? Or at least hit Wormtail. And the insult. Touché.

"I resent that," Remus finally spoke up, and Gavin flew a hand to her heart in a kind of shock that was all-too-obviously not heartfelt.

"He speaks!" she gasped, and both girls laughed. We just sort of looked at each other, laughing a bit nervously along with them. I surely didn't know what to make of this girl. Who'd've thought? After fifteen years, a girl finally renders me speechless! She was definitely getting me interested. And her smile was making me feel like swooning. I guess Prongs caught on, because he was rolling his eyes and leaning back in his seat.

"JAMES ALFRED POTTER!" Prongs jumped up blindly, before falling down in mid-hysterics. All of us burst into laughter, only to be stifled the moment Lily Evans reached the compartment door. Blimey, if my best friend didn't fancy her to no end, I'd probably have more than a few snogging sessions with her. Then again, I'm a bit afraid of her temper.

"Alfred?" Circe managed to get out, and snorted into a fit of giggles. I would have joined in too, but I didn't dare laugh while Evans was on a rampage.

"Yes, my Lily-flower popkin?" Prongs really did lay it on thick, now that he regained his composure. He was batting his eyelashes at her in a way that made me wonder if he would ever go metro sexual. Nah. Not Potter.

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT! I KNOW IT WAS YOU WHO FLUSHED THAT POOR SECOND YEAR DOWN THE TRAIN'S LOO!" Evans was screaming, her face probably as red as her hair, and you could practically see the fire shooting out of her eyes. I looked to the new girls, who were obviously as terrified as the rest of us. That made me feel a bit better. At least they were normal in _that_ sense.

"Now, my sweet, how could you ever accuse me of such a thing?" I rolled my eyes at Prongs' horrible attempt of weaseling his way out of the mess. Evans was smart, and if she wanted to, could probably out prank him. I would never dare tell Prongsy that, of course. "Have you noticed our new students, at least?" He changed the subject when her furious glower deepened, and Lily's fiery green eyes stopped burning when she laid eyes on Mira and Circe. She blushed crimson.

"I'm so sorry you had to be seated with these blubbering buffoons, besides you Remus," she said apologetically. Now _that_ girl had mood swings if I've ever seen any. I glared at Lily, then to Moony, who just smiled and nodded, as if to forgive her.

"Oi! Moony! Whose side are you on, anyhow?" I demanded of him, but my argument went short when Evans sent a glare in my direction. "Just trying to secure my mate's loyalty, Evans," I assured her, but it obviously did no good.

"It's alright," Circe said. I still haven't decided on what to call her. Since Antares bothered her more, I'll keep to that one. "It doesn't really seem like they have exactly what I'd call the brains to perturb me."

Oh crap. I could already tell Evans and her were going to be the best of friends. "I'm Lily Evans, and I can tell we are going to be the best of friends." What was that? Could Evans read minds? I stared at her for a moment as she squished her way between me and Antares, who was smiling politely. Why didn't she give _me_ that smile?

"I'm Circe Gavin, and this is Mira Gavin," she told Evans, shaking her hand, and then Mira shook Evans' hand.

"New to Hogwarts, are you? You certainly don't look like first years," Evans couldn't have put it better. They both were definitely good looking, and both looked to be about sixteen. And though there were many good looking girls at Hogwarts, I never scorned new meat. Pervert? Mmmmhm.

"We just moved the beginning of this summer from Scotland," Mira put in, and leaned forward with a questioning look on her face. "Could any of you tell me what this… Ravenclaw and Gryffindor means? When we enrolled, we met Professor McGonagall at the Leaky Cauldron, where we were 'sorted' by this horribly dirty old hat. We certainly didn't have anything of the sort at our old school. Is it some kind of class arrangement?"

"Our school is rather large, so we have to be sorted into different Houses, mainly based on our mentality and personality. Ravenclaw is one, and Gryffindor is another. So you were already sorted?" Prongs asked excitedly, and Evans glared at him for interrupting their conversation, but for once he paid no notice to her, and continued, "Which houses did you get?"

Antares looked a bit put out. It seemed she was wishing she wouldn't be separated from Mira. How cute, sisterly love. I grinned at her, when Mira sighed, "I got Ravenclaw, and Ant—oof! Circe got Gryffindor." I was in luck tonight!

Tonight! I looked out the window. Yes, the sun was setting. I seemed to be the only one who noticed. "It's alright Mira, Ravenclaw is a wonderful house. But Circe, you're in my house!" Evans was saying, and the other girl still looked a bit guilty.

"We're not completely secluded from the other houses, are we?" she asked, and Lily shook her head.

"Oh no! Of course not! You'll see each other plenty," Evans assured her, and they both seemed to brighten up a little.

"I'm sorry to interrupt this happy fiasco, but the sun is setting and we should be getting there any time now. I certainly don't mind changing in one compartment together, so let's get started, shall we?" I couldn't help but add the last bit in, even if it did give me a swift kick in the shin. I winced, but nothing could falter my smile.

"You four, OUT!" Evans shoved us out of there, and hexed our bags to chase us down the hallway. When they finally caught up with us, they all landed on us in a giant heap.

"Isn't she lovely?" Prongs sighed dreamily under my leg.

"Prongs," I could hear Remus' muffled voice from under his baggage. Prongs lifted up his head in recognition.

"You're a loony."

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Pleeeeeeaaaase review! 


	3. A Thorough Search of the Pants

Ah! As I said before, I won't really be making any excuses as to why I don't update often. x.x; Sorry it's been a while, though. :) Thanks for the reviews!

**Saxifrage: **Aww thank you! Now where's my loofa? XD  
**Absh: **Glad you liked it! I'll try and update more. :)

**Disclaimer:** Lalalala, I own it ALL! BWAHAHAHHAHAHHA! I SHALL RULE ALL!  
Circe: ...> ; swats  
Me: OUCH! Oh, alright. I don't own the canon characters. ;.; BUT I STILL SHALL RULE ALL!  
Circe: >>;;; Twat.

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**Bet is Bête**

**Circe's POV**

Lily was nice enough. She had quite the temper, though. Scared me out of my wits for a moment, actually. We managed to get changed before the boys came strolling back in unannounced, and I couldn't help but grinwith satisfactionat their disappointed faces. "Perverts," I taunted them. I was already feeling right at home. I still did feel bad about Mira getting Ravenclaw.

What was up with the school's name, by the way? I had been begging to ask the question, but blimey, what a ridiculous name! Hogwarts? Who wants their school named after hog warts? Warty hogs? Disgusting!

"Why, thank you," Sirius bowed gracefully, and I fought the urge to roll my eyes as I scowled at them. Thankfully, the scenario didn't last long, for the train slowed to a stop. And again, I fell. Swearing loudly, I realized I had fallen on someone. Soon after, I realized that I had fallen on the "someone" that was probably not the best"someone" to fall on. His hands were around my waist, securing my position on him. The boy was just staring at me, with some dazed kind of look.

"Biggot, let me up!" I snarled at Black, and he obliged. I glared, about to hex him into the next oblivion, but Mira pulled me out of the compartment, and I knew she was giving an apologetic look to the ones occupying it.

"What did you do that for? The jerk had it coming!" I demanded of her, and she looked a bit sheepish.

"You were the one that fell on him, actually," Mira smiled at me as a blush rose to my cheeks.

"It was most certainly _not_ my fault! You know I'm a bit accident-prone!" I shot back, and she just smiled… that horribly infuriating smile! Why did she have to know everything and pretend like she knew nothing! Stupid twat.

By the time I had calmed down,Lily had caught up to us and we were just exiting the carriage.Lily led us into the Great Hall. Bloody brilliant thing it was, with the ceiling magicked into being the night sky, with hundreds of floating candles decorating the golden hall. There were four long rows of tables, each decorated with two different pairing colors. "That's the Ravenclaw table," Lily said, pointing to the far one on the left. "I'll introduce you to a few of them. They're all really nice," she assured Mira, and I could have huggedLily for being so considerate.

"Go save me a spot at the table, will you, Circe? It's the middle right one." I gave Mira a quick hug, noticing more than a few heads had turned to inspect myself and Mira. I chose to ignore them, and sat down at the Gryffindor table. Stupid name. Why call it Gryffindor, when there was a lion on the banner? Griffins, though part lion, were definitely not lions! Stupid school.

At least I had food to look forward to. But when I looked at the table for a second time, I realized there was no food! I groaned exasperatedly and hit my head on the empty plate. "Ow…" I muttered into the plate, closing my eyes shut. I really didn't want to be here.

"Are you always like this, or do you keep falling for me?" I heard a familiar voice and I sighed inwardly.

"Do you have any mercy on new students?" I asked Sirius pleadingly, who sat down beside me. That was definitely enough to answer my question.

"Nope," he confirmed my suspicions anyway, and the rest of the boys sat down across from me, except the short lumpy one, who sat by Sirius. He seemed a bit like Sirius' shadow. Creepy.

"Circe! I was afraid I'd lost you! I tried looking for you when you got off the train, but I couldn't find you!" I looked into Betelgeuse's friendly eyes, and he sat next to me.

"Who's this?" I heard Sirius slightly taken back. Jealous? HAH! I smiled evilly at Sirius.

"This is my boyfriend. Juicey, meet the most annoying boy on the face of the Wizarding World," I chuckled at my own genius, but it quickly plummeted.

"Ugh. Circe, seriously. That's gross. I'm Betelgeuse, her brother," he held out his hand to Sirius, and they shook hands, annoyingly right in front of my face, so all I could see was a stupid waving of hands up and down. I was burning bright red at the moment. Trust Juice to make me feel like a pervert.

"You swear like I was serious, Juice. You're such an idiot sometimes," I snapped, a bit annoyed as I fought the urge to slam my face on the plate for a second time.

"Stop calling me Juice! Or I'll start calling you—"

"—Antares? Mira so graciously informed us of that name earlier," Sirius seemed to be quite proud of himself. Juice was a bit put out, however, since he couldn't blackmail me. Jerk.

"I talked to Professor McGonagall about Quidditch, Circe. They were looking for a beater! They need chasers too, and a keeper. It seems like the whole team got wiped out," Betel was telling me, and my mood definitely brightened.

"Yep, all of them were seventh years. Brought the team down, I'm afraid. But we still didn't lose. Potter's a brilliant seeker, and I'm one helluva beater, if I do say so myself," I heard Black say, and the temptation to slam my forehead on the plate was too strong. Another thunk of ceramic and bone was heard, but I had a hard head, and unfortunately, no pain was let out on.

"You should really stop doing that. You could suffer some serious brain damage, no pun intended," I could tell Sirius was grinning just by the way he was talking.

"Oh, sod off." Brilliant reply. I believe just talking to this guy has dulled my wit a bit.

"Sod off?" oh great, Betelgeuse was gasping. That only meant more suffering for me. "Has the greatCirce finally run out of comebacks?" he asked in horror. I gave him a heel to the shin for that. "OUCH! Bloody violent today, aren't we?"

I was about to reply, whenLily sat down next to my brother looking a bit disappointed. "I thought you'd save me a seat!" she declared, but it was obvious she was only joking. I heart Potter somewhere in front of me sigh dreamily.

"I had no choice. I was bombarded by idiots," I mumbled, and sawLily do a double take at Betelgeuse. I rolled my eyes. Oh lord, not her too!

"Betelgeuse Gavin, at your service. Most people just call me Bet or Gavin," he used his most "I'm-so-great-I-could-love-myself" voice, and I rolled my eyes.

"Are you aware that 'bête' means stupid in French?"Lily asked seriously, and I snorted into my plate. Perhaps I hadn't lost _every_ girl to Juice's amazingly good looks.

"Err. No, actually."

"I didn't know you spoke French, Evans! Ah, bless me, she's a romantic!" Potter mocked a faint into Remus' arms, who just let him drop to the floor. That caused me to snort into my plate again, chuckling some before sitting up straight. Before Potter could make a remark, the first years came in. Thank god I did this out of school. I would have been mortified had I done it in front of all these people.

After the sorting, Dumbledore stood up. Dumbledore. Yet another ridiculous name. This school was just plain _weird_. A hush fell over the crowd, and he cleared his throat. Lost cause there, buddy. Apparently he was recently dubbed the headmaster. But he looked so comfortable and serene, you wouldn't have questioned it had you been told he had been headmaster for three hundred years. He looked old enough to do it, too. "Welcome to Hogwarts!" Oh, just a _grand_ entrance. Blubbering prat.

"First things first: the Forbidden Forest is off limits to all students. You'll stay clear if you don't want to die a horribly painful death," he looked sternly at us all, and I seemed the only one chuckling. What, they actually believed that crap? Apparently, because now they were all staring at me for laughing. I stopped immediately, and looked at him. He seemed to take no notice, however, since he continued on as if he hadn't heard me. "Secondly, there are three new fifth years that will be attending Hogwarts with us for the rest of their education. I'm sure you will all give them the same respect that you have for your own peers, for they are now among them. Don't be shy, stand up!"

About to refuse, I felt Juice pull me up with him. There was a rather hefty applause, seeing as Juice had obviously already done his share of meeting people, and Mira had the same heart-stopping effect on boys as well. I was the first to sit down, and when Juice took a second too long to sit down, I grabbed him by the elbow and dragged him down. Sirius snorted into chuckling next to me, and I threw a glare at him. What right did he have to make fun of my brother? I was the only one entitled to that!

While we were waiting for the applause to die down (some mad girls in the Hufflepuff table were squealing and hooting, while I could still hear echoes of wolf calls; the bloody perverts), Dumbledore surveyed his students. His eyes twinkled in a way that reminded me of a child. I couldn't help but respect the man, even if he did just bring all the attention on us. I ignored the stares coming my way, focusing hard on the old man. "And lastly, Hippogriffs, plaster, and lemon sherbet!"

I stared at him blankly. No one else seemed to be miffed by his last words, other than Mira, Betelgeuse, the first years, and I, so I guessed I shouldn't think much of it. I turned back to the table to see an enormous pile of food on my plate, and huge bowls and plates in the center for serving seconds. I began to dig in, famished. "Whoa, you really know how to eat, don't you?" I heard the lumpy one say, and looked up, swallowing a bit of the sheppard's pie. The five that didn't know me well were staring at me in awe.

I shrugged. "A girl's gotta eat," I explained

"Amen," Sirius agreed, and I laughed before turning my attention back to my food.

After dinner, we were all too stuffed to think about much except going to bed. I hugged Mira for the last time, and the silly git hugged everyone else goodnight as well (she's always been such a flirt), and Lily and I made our way to the portrait (now THAT is a fat lady). "Now, Hogwarts. Its curfews aren't actually expected to be followed, are they?" I asked her, and she looked a bit surprised.

"Of course! Filch, the caretaker, lord knows how long he's been here, and his cat Mrs. Norris, are very strict with curfews. You wouldn't want detention, would you?" she asked, and I shrugged. Like I said, I wasn't exactly an angel. That included my years in Dwardiem's School of the Magically Privileged (Okay, so the Scots were a bit egocentric, too…).

"Well, it wouldn't be new news to me. What about passageways? This place is massive, so there has to be some good ones," I urged her, and the girl stared at me blankly. They're expecting me to stay at this school, get in by 10 every night, and there are no ways out! "Are you all bleeding mad!" I asked incredulously, and got quite a few stares from the yawning students, all eager to go to bed.

"You'll have to excuse my sister. She's a bit defiant towards school rules. Same story back home," Juice cut in, and I rolled my eyes.

"Curfews? We didn't have any in Dwardiem!" I reminded him, and he laughed, shaking his head at me. I hated when he did that.

"Yes, we did. 9:30 P.M. every night."

"Oh--" I looked for a way to deny this, raising a finger, when I realized he was right."Well, crap," I said, defeated. I heard a bark of laughed near my right ear. Spinning around, I saw Sirius, who was grinning at me. "Enjoy, eavesdropping?" even though I was fairly new here, I felt quite at home, and Sirius already made me comfortable enough to bicker with him constantly. Kind of like Juice, as a matter of fact. I glared at him as he shrugged innocently, though I saw him look to James and raise his eyebrows. I, in turn, raised on of my own eyebrows. "What was that look for?" I asked him, tilting my head to the side, then I looked to James.

Both were silent, and I rolled my eyes and began to walk with Lily again. The headboy told us our password ("Gobble-di Bobble-di Gook") and we all headed for our respective dormitories.

Four post beds! Can you imagine? I found one by the window and crawled in, instantly falling asleep. The glory of those mattresses! They were so comfortable, I dreamt I slept in it, dreaming I slept in it, and within that dream of myself dreaming, I dreamt I slept in it.

Unfortunately, this peace never lasted long.

I woke up some time in the horribly early hours,even though I'm a veryheavy sleeper, and I pulled on some jeans and a cami tank top. After throwing on a long hooded button-up sweater and some sneakers, I walked down to the common room, to find I wasn't alone.

There they were, the four of them, huddled around a table, whispering furiously under their breaths. Now, I had four choices—walk back up to the common room and try to fall asleep (yeah, right), let my presence be known and continue my way down, make my way down and scare them, or never let my presence be known until I can hold something against them. Yes, I am devious.

But, deciding that they seemed to be generally decent boys and I didn't want to lose their friendship _too_ quickly, I snuck down until I was right behind the pudgy one. I stuck my wand under the table top and with a flick of my wrist, a gigantic, fat slug plopped right on top of their paper. Pettigrew, the lump, squealed high pitch like a little girl, and rammed his chair back into my stomach, and ran to dive behind a couch. The others followed suit, and while this probably would have been amazingly amusing, I was too busy trying to overcome the searing pain of the back of the chair pushing my intestines into my spine.

Nevertheless, I still managed to laugh.

Wheezing, I dropped to my knees, laughing so hard tears streamed down my eyes. Four gorgeous, macho, crafty (well, three of them anyway) grown boys screeching and screaming like little fan girls because of a slightly overgrown slug. How could I not laugh? Waving my wand through my tears and wheezing, the slug, and its slime, disappeared. I looked up to see the faces of four very angry boys.

"What in the bloody hell was that for!" Sirius asked incredulously, and after a few moments of silence, I couldn't hold it in anymore: I burst into laughter again, clutching my stomach as I keeled over, resting my forehead on the floor as I tried to get a hold of myself.

After a long moment, I managed to contain myself as I pulled myself up, still rubbing a very sore stomach. "Blimey, you sure twitch," I told Peter, who blushed furiously. I looked over to Sirius and grinned. "You all looked awfully comfortable. Just testing out a bit of a theory, is all," I explained. That didn't seem to suit them well at all.

"What kind of bleeding theory is that!" James demanded, and I flashed my teeth at him in a rough grin.

"To see if all guys could reach a high note. I must say, you could surpass the highest of the sopranos, James." He looked livid. Finally, I decided to be a bit more sympathetic. "It was only a bit of fun. Honestly, I thought you all would appreciate that."

"F… Fun!" Remus asked incredulously. "Scaring the living wits out of us?"

"From what I heard, you all don't have a problem in doing that to others," I told them testily, and they all looked a bit guilty.

"That's different! That's for payback!"

"Well, consider that payback. For using my other name," I concluded in triumph, folding my arms. Bloody hell, my stomach hurt!

Sirius looked like he wanted to wring something. Like a neck. How did I know, you ask? He was making the gesture, tugging violently on an invisible neck in front of him. Potter was running his hands through his hair furiously, as if he was hoping the electric static would send shocks to me. Remus was back to being a mute, and poor Peter was still shaking. I felt a bit guilty, and I leaned against the back of the couch. "I'm sorry," I told them truthfully, "But honestly, you'd think you'd be able to handle a little slug."

"Little!" Remus squeaked. "That thing was bigger than James' ego!"

"Oi!"

"No, from what I can tell his ego is bigger than that."

"Hey!"

"No, but you realize his brain doesn't have the mental capacity for anything else. It seems big, but that's because he has little of anything else," Remus reasoned, and I nodded, an understanding sigh escaping my lips.

"HEY! WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON, ANYHOW?"

We all sniggered, and I peered over at the table. "So what were you all working on, anyways?" from what I could tell, it was a ruddy bit of parchment, folded in many strange ways, with little dots moving about.

"N… N… Nothing!" Sirius stuttered, and snatched it from the table, attempting to stuff it in his pocket, to find he didn't have one. Good thing I had good reflexes. Thanks to my four years on the Quidditch team as a keeper. I stared at it. It was a map! And the dots had labels… "Is that really Dumbledore?" I asked incredulously, pointing to the dot, and Sirius snatched it from my hands as James stood in front of me.

"Did you know your eyes glisten like the stars in the moon's rays?" he asked huskily, but I was peering over his shoulder. Sirius was muttering something as he tapped his wand on the paper. James moved to block the view, and I looked up at him.

"Don't be a twat. How did you get that thing?" I was sincerely interested. Seeing that I wasn't disappointed or angry, James faltered. I could tell what was going through his mind. _What am I going to do?_

He tried for the seductive role again. "And your hair—it shines like a unicorn's mane in the twilight!" he pulled me towards him, and I rightfully pushed him away. He staggered back, with mock hurt. "You murder me with your coldness, your lovely, shameless, coldness!" he was saying while I looked around. The map was already out of Sirius' hands, and I looked around for it. He couldn't have put it in his pocket, for he didn't have any. So where did he put it? Then I noticed him adjusting his pants, and saw a rather rigid bulge. "Keep Junior down, there, Sirius," I snapped at him, and he blushed crimson.

**Sirius' POV**

Why couldn't _I_ play seduce the girl so she wouldn't find out anymore about the map? I would have done much better, considering James has been hooked on Evans for so long, he's forgotten how to woo the female population. Honestly. "A unicorn's mane"? I can tell you right now no woman ever wants her hair to be called a mane. Learned that one second year. I had the slap mark on my cheek for a good couple of hours. Not to mention the fact that I wouldn't mind a good snog session with Circe. She definitely has the whole "gorgeous" thing going for her.

"Keep Junior down, there, Sirius."

What? Oh. Crap! That's the map! Not…! It would have been a much bigger bulge, I assure you. "That is the map, Circe. What's going on in your mind, there? Want to come get it?" I couldn't help it. It was too priceless. I could see the wheels turning in her head. She wanted to see what the map really was all about, but she didn't want to put her hands down my pants. Of course, she _did_, (what girl wouldn't?) but she couldn't because the whole "I-have-to-get-to-know-you-better" thing. That was the excuse most girls used. They usually broke after a couple of days. Sure, she hasn't shown interest in me much, but who couldn't adore me? Seriously. No pun intended.

I felt a tug on my jeans and let out a very strange yelp-sound, almost like a squeak. The girl actually put her hand down my pants! I was so surprised that I didn't think to stop her. After all, I wouldn't mind her putting her hand down my pants any other time… but… "Bloody hell! Just can't keep your hands off me!" I sputtered, and she rolled her eyes. She's so sexy when she does that.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, twit. I wanted to see this," she told me, waving the map in front of my eyes. She opened it up and saw it was blank. "Where did it go?" she asked, and I smirked.

"Want to do a more thorough search in my pants, dearest? You might find the ink," I gave her my sweetest of girl voices, batting my eyelashes prettily as I clasped my hands together.

"Keep talking in that voice and I'll make it stick," she snapped, and while she was saying so, James pulled the map out of her hands. Though he's quite clueless at times, he sure knew when to get smart. She glared, putting her hands on her fists. "Fine, have it your own way," she told us all, and spun on her heel and started walking through the portrait.

"Wh... Where are you going?" James asked incredulously. She turned around slyly and I could tell wherever she was going, it wasn't going to benefit us at all.

"Going to see if that was really Dumbledore. Second floor, right?" she didn't seem as though she cared at all if she got caught or not, and stepped out of the portrait. It was only a few seconds of stunned silence before we all jumped out and scrambled after her.

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